I wish I could say that things seem easier now. I am in this new apartment where I am paying more and it seems to be in a much nicer place. Imagine, I can even feel the burden of framing that previous sentence. I talk about the rent as the first thing and then I state how it seems to be something. Not that it is but rather it seems. Honestly I feel this lingering burden of something over me. It’s not the credit card debt I ratcheted up. Thanks to the trips before moving into this place. The trips that were required for the move and those that were not. It seems more emotional. It seems much of it is caused by worry for people close to me and not. Or perhaps it feels like I don’t want to be here in some subconscious part of me. If I said there were lingering presences here, that would just seem ridiculous. Not many things have happened since I came here besides the escalating war, the social consciousness going crazier by the day and then there’s Kanye, who destroyed his empire, at least financially it seems so right now.
It was a tragedy what happened with Kanye. When I got the notification that he appeared on Lex Fridman a part of me was elated just like any other consumer of content on the internet. Just like the millions of viewers of Youtube. A relatively simple reaction to a new notification, sometimes maybe any notification. Then slowly I started thinking about other things. One for e.g., was would I finally be able to communicate with people significant in my life what a genius this guy was/is? Then I thought, okay, finally a conversation that will perhaps transcend the general nonsense on media. Then I started watching it and Lex’s awkward start to the video made it feel either an exceptional conversation or a conversation that began with a sense of urgency to get right into it. Without getting into the finer details of the episode I’ll just leave it here to say that the episode was a train wreck. Not because of what he said but because of how it would be perceived. This conversation was a knife edge that was serrated and blunt. Perhaps of one that was unused and will never be used ever again.
“Fools be saying that he ruined his empire in a few days”. Unfortunately or fortunately for some I think that’s true, they are fools indeed. Perhaps it will be interesting to see what the history books don’t write about this person. His art in real life was something to see being made. I was fortunate to see a documentary that documented him doing his work. Were all his views correct? Maybe not according to the current society. Were all his lyrics admirable? Was all his art where I found the calling for my heart? Perhaps not but he had genius during my time. I among many others witnessed his rise and I won’t say his fall. He is too eccentric to be judged by this society. He doesn’t fall in its framework of laurels or failures. They’re still figuring out what hit them. I needed help figuring out what hit me. And that’s where Casey Neistat came into the picture.
I wanted to make some sense or maybe just find my bearings in this scenario. Casey being a creator I’ve followed for long was helpful. He’s eccentric in his own right. He’s a Jew and understands how the media works. So, his views would make sense. To my surprise, which honestly shouldn’t have been one, he had interacted with Ye. Not in the way one would consider an interaction because he hasn’t created anything or even collaborated on anything. He had only interacted with him as a human being a couple of times in a corridor, here and there and listened to him speak up close about his ideas. He admired him and appreciated Ye as a creator. Not anymore. He had seen what all Ye said about the Jews and he didn’t take well to it. As many did and perhaps should. His explanation was that Ye was dog whistling people. I didn’t clearly know what that means and perhaps don’t even now but here’s what I understood. He was giving people the permission to openly hate and in a way condoned hate speech by doing what he was because he was a prolific personality. I can see that. As much of his genius I see, I also see that he is provocative. He has talked about being provocative and he has been provocative. The time he was being provocative as well but I think he broke the social contract.
Everyone enters into a social contract the moment they leave their parents. Their parents handle the contract before that. In a way they bear the brunt or fruits of the person’s external engagement until the person leaves their nest. The time they spend at home is the time they undergo a sort of “training”. They understand what is, can be, should be, and can’t be. Sometimes they learn what can be and what isn’t and they set out to change things. At any rate, they understand what the social contract means. Some set out to change the contract because they are not satisfied with what was handed to them. This is when Legends are born or where dreams are created or simply complexes created and harbored. Or at least that’s how I think is the way that it goes. I can’t speak about Ye in entirety but he learned to chase greatness early. He did not sign the contract he was handed at birth. No one except his Mama knew that. She saw him break rules early. Others were yet to witness what Ye was to bring to the table.
I feel I only learned about the preordained contract a few weeks ago. Or maybe I’ve been learning about the contract for sometime now. I hope I am able to do something with this one wild and precious life.