Meditation was late in the day today and I think it wasn’t easier. I think when I get to it later in the day my back acts funnier than when I get to it earlier in the day. Meditation comes from the word meditor or that which means to remedy. I’m not sure what I’m remedying here but its practice takes me places that while I know to exist are not necessarily obvious or top of mind.
About empathy – While it is important and I realize it’s required it should not be apparent at every moment. Sometimes the object of my empathy might feel relegated to the depths of despair because of my manner. However, I wonder what is more – my concern or my attempt to remedy.
When one is thinking about thinking it is not hard to get distracted in visions of thoughts. My mother’s feet then turn into the edge of a chair that should be right in front of me yet I realize that I have not looked at it the whole day. It could be easy to read into these things but I know these are only consequences of neurons firing and trying to observe the action of themselves firing. At some level it will not be possible for the subject to become the object even if the subject realizes this all the while. Does it then mean something specific when my thoughts turn into a peacock and run away from me? What I was left with was the image of its behind with a wrapped up plumage taking those long steps with the hind of its legs visible and surprisingly resembling those of an ostrich. Perhaps I’m just making that last part up. Perhaps not.